Five Ways

For the past 24 hours—ever since seeing a Tweet from a friend with a link in it—I’ve been cruising TheAwl.com. Like so many other things (The Rolling Stones; homoism), I’m late to the game with this one. So I’m playing catch up.

I think The Awl is good, and the reason I know I think this is because after reading some of its pieces I’ve experienced a familiar mix of admiration and jealousy. I’ve been Googling authors and reading past pieces, research to see if the great work I’ve read is typical, or just a fluke. (Also important: What do these people look like? Are they ridiculous? Because if they’re ridiculous, I’ll feel a lot less jealous.) This morning I was looking into Doree Shafrir (I’d been meaning to look her up for a while) and Abe Sauer. So far, I’m still jealous.

Both Abe and Doree have written, at least in passing, about long-form online journalism. Long-form online journalism. I realized this morning that I have no faith in such a thing. I am still—like most people, I think—wary of anybody that posts long “articles” on their blogs. Amateurs, I think to myself. Self-important amateurs. And the stuff on Slate and Salon? I can’t even think of those websites without…getting…..sleepy…..

I’ve got to stop thinking that way, because it only makes me a hypocrite. I’m envious of the work that Abe and Doree do, but, even more, I’m envious of their drive. They’re using the internet in the best possible way—to publish things that nobody will pay to publish in print—and thus their work has a certain urgency to it. I’m projecting a certain urgency on their personalities as well, though of course I have no idea.

If it’s not alraedy clear to the one person who will read this post, that urgency is a little contagious. Why else would I be updating a blog that I haven’t touched in months? The urgency may be fleeting. That’d be fine—it’s riveting now, that’s enough. But maybe it’ll last a while, and I’ll start writing here more. If I do, then Jesus Christ…I’ve got to change this blog’s name.